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Chris Perkins: The Unauthorised
Autobiography
Full name : Christopher John Archibald Christor
Sebastian Danger Susan Bouffant-Perkins III (Mrs)
Born
at an early age, I have been getting older ever since. Becoming separated from my birth parents in a
Quad-bike accident I was raised by bees. However on reaching puberty it became
clear I was not like all the other bees and girls. It was with a heavy heart
that I left the hive, heading off to join my own kind in the city.
Working
briefly as a tramp I was able to raise enough money to afford a monkey that became
my travelling companion (and emergency food supply*). Wandering the land, we
solved many crimes and presented a top-rated cooking show on
My
various occupations have included poet, architect, bad-ass pimp, video shop
clerk, doctor, lesbian and king of the world.
I am currently working as the British Secret Services top undercover
operative, foiling plots by crazed men with no hair on no less than seven
occasions. Fortunately I have kept this
top secret and not told anybody, as that would put me and my whole operation at
risk….. oh
bollocks!
* incredibly obscure reference
Really About Me
Hello,
my names Chris Perkins and I’m an animator and cartoonist based in the south
east of
Established
in the year of the monkey (2004), Monkey Pirate Zombie has been bringing
insightful and thought-provoking intellectual debate to the public ever since… not
really it’s just a load of silly cartoons, animations and games.
If you would like a cartoon or animation done for your
website or business (or even for personal reasons, eg. A present for a friend
or family member) then e-mail me and I’ll see what I can do.
Advertising
on this site is handeled by Project Wonderful. You
bid on the spaces by clicking on them and the highest bid gets the space. If
there is no current bid (or the current bid is zero) you can take advantage of
free advertising for a limited period)Otherwise bids
can be as low as 1 cent a day see here.
What the hell?
This
is Monkey Pirate Zombie, a collection of animations, cartoons games and
randomness that I have created. Please take off
your shoes.
Why
Monkeypiratezombie.co.uk?
Because they are three of the greatest things in the world. Obviously.
Also, all the good names are already taken. Plus .co.uk is cheaper than .com.
I can’t get the
animations to work.
Make
sure you have the latest version of flash player installed. You can get it here. It may take some time to download the
Animations
on a dial-up connection, please be patient. They will
download automatically and will then play back smoothly. If an animation is
still not working please e-mail me in case it is a problem at my end I haven’t
discovered yet. You can bring up a menu
by right clicking on the animation. You can control the playback this way and
play and pause as you need to.
How often do you update?
I
try to put up at least one new thing a week. However as this site is not my job
(as yet) sometimes real life will get in the way. Check the news. page
for the latest updates. Make sure you don’t miss a thing by joining our mailing list
Who writes your music?
Most
of the Original Music is written by Mopizo’s musical
friend The Protector- very talented
and all-round nice guy. He’s written the our theme tune,
(as heard on the home page and on Mopizo TV) Happy
Bunny’s new theme and Parasol which
features in Jeremy. We plan to
continue working together. You can find out more about him here.
Can I use artwork/
cartoons from MPZ on my site?
Please
e-mail me before using anything from the site. It probably won’t be a problem,
but please check with me before hand.
Any
of my work should be credited to me with a link to www.monkeypiratezombie.co.uk
Can you produce
animation or cartoons for my site/business/etc. ?
If
you are interested in employing my services then please
e-mail me.
How can I help
MonkeyPirateZombie.co.uk?
- I’m looking for people who are
willing to provide voices for future projects. Details here
- If you want to link to this
site, feel free to use one, all, or none of these banners: (PLEASE save
onto your own webspace)
- Spread
the word! If you enjoy the site, please tell others! If you see any
magazines or websites that ask for your fave links why not recommend us?
There may even be a prize in it for the person who gets us the most
publicity. If you have a website feel free to link
to me.
- Buy
our merchandise! We’ve got a range of T-shirts, mugs, greetings cards and
more. Not only will this help out the site, but it will enrich your life
in a multitude of ways.
- If
you like the site leave comments on the newspage
or sign the messageboard
If
any of this appeals email me
Why are there no
T-shirts/ wallpapers etc of my favourite MPZ character/cartoon/etc?
Chances
are I just haven’t thought of it. If there is a design you think is missing,
then feel free to email and request. I try to listen to my public!
Why Do Birds, suddenly
Appear, Every time you are Near?
Just
like meee they long to beee close to yooooou.
Who Let the Dogs Out?
That
may have been me. Sorry.
Can you tell me how to
get, how to get to
Sorry
dunno. I guess you’d have to start by going to
Where do
babies comes from?
Er…..space?
Ask your mother.
Have you ever fallen in
love with someone, ever fallen in love, ever fallen in love with someone, have
you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with?
None of your business.
Have you run out of real
questions?
Yes.
How did you guess?
The
Protector- the music maestro himself, responsible for most of the
music on MPZ
Project
Wonderful- advertise on
websites such as Mopizo and many more, or if you have
a site of your own, earn some moolah by selling
advertising!
One.com –
The Hosting company Mopizo
uses. Highly recommended if you’re looking for a hosting company.
B3TA (pronounced Beta) Message board frequented
by many creative and humourous types. And me.
Join
the mailing list for the weekly newsletter featuring many funny links. Be
warned there’s
some offensive stuff here on occasions.
Weebl’s stuff The home of the most
talented web-animator out there. All together now Badger badger badger badger
Badger
badger mushroom mushroom…… Also home of Weebl and Bob. Weebl’s best known and most hilarious animation
series, As seen on MTV2 (as Wobbl and Bob) and
as the Anchor Spreadable Cows
Scary Go Round- The finest Webcomic know to man, or monkey.
Rather Good.
The home of the singing kittens among others. Loads of flash
cartoons and stuff. And salty language
Fat
Pie Home of a web animation genius.
Includes the Burton-esque Salad Fingers, and the just plain funny Burntface man
MPZ
Recommends using Firefox instead of Internet
Explorer- it’s what the cool kids are doing. Use the above link to get it
And
support this site at the same time!
.
