About Suburban Ninja

*indicates a bare-faced lie

Suburban Ninja is a state-of-the-art* flash animated series published regularly* on the interweb. Combining pictures and sound (often at the same time) this revolutionary* animated epic* follows the adventures of a Ninja who lives, surprisingly, in the Suburbs. With breathtaking visuals* brilliantly choreographed action sequences* and high drama* this modern classic* has been enjoyed* by literally dozens of people* since it’s debut in the spring of 2004.

Genuine reviews*

“Sensational!.....a masterpiece «««««” Smash Hits*

“Outstanding…. I haven’t cried this hard since Darius Went out of Pop Idol «««««” Financial Times*

“ Undeniable Power «««««” Readers’ Wives

“I haven’t seen it “ Jonathan Ross

Cast

Suburban Ninja- a.k.a. Lo Wan- (Real name: Stanley Nobbins). Guile and Cunning, poise and skill- these are just a few of the words that would not be used in a sentence about Stanley. Unless it was “Stanley Nobbins is completely lacking in…”. He does however possess a pointy sword and a genuine Japanese kimono (or possibly a dress), which he believes to qualify him as a genuine ninja. Despite rumours to the contrary he is a confirmed heterosexual, and celibate (by default).

He strives to live his life by the ninja code, although he is not quite sure what the code is. He’s fairly certain it involves something about nobility, honour and sticking his pointy sword in people. One day he aims to be the finest swordsman in all of East Anglia: also he would love to appear on TV’s Countdown and meet Carol Vorderman. Unlike most ninjas he is 42 years old, balding and still lives with his mum.

Dotty aka The Old Woman. Very little is known about this mysterious old woman, apart from her name. (Which you’d only know by reading this or by having seen my degree animation Old finger). Her ninja-y skills and swearing ability are far above Stanley’s. And yes she will be returning.

Mrs Nobbins aka Stanley’s Mum. Domineering matriarch and Stanley’s ‘Landlady’ if anyone asks. She doesn’t approve of Stanley’s quest and think it’s time he got a job, got married and moved out. She’s hoping the ninja thing is a phase like his previous attempts to become a Jedi, a pirate and a lesbian (don’t ask), and he’ll soon get over it.

The late Mr Nobbins senior aka Stanley’s Dad. Stubborn curmudgeonly and, bigoted, he was hardly a positive father figure. He was killed seven years ago in a freak Wildebeest stampede in Norwich high street. Occasionally makes a ghostly appearance to offer his only son sage advice and words of encouragement… or more often to swear at him and make aspersions on his sexuality.

More characters will be added as they appear….

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