Sarcastic? Moi?

So the rightwing scare-mongers tell us, due to binge-drinking and video games, the streets are no longer safe to walk without getting stabbed, shot or bitten. Society is going to pot! Yet at the same time, we are told all the kids, especially the poor ones are now getting fatter than the man who ate Rik Waller.

Seeing as the Daily Mail brigade would never lie to us this leads me to one conclusion. Everything's gonna be alright. Eventually all the chavs will be too fat to leave the house, like that bloke off Jerry Springer they had to lift out the roof with a helicopter. Viola! It'll be just like the good old days, when nothing bad EVER happened.